Food Bits

Breakfast - 11:15am (yes, late.  I slept in)
 - Turkey Salad concoction thingy. 2 oz turkey (80cal), 1 C lettuce (5cal), 3 yellow cherry tomatoes (9cal), trace cucumber & bell pepper (est 20cal), 1 tbsp sour cream (30cal), spices (pepper, ital seasoning, salt) - 144cal

Total: 144cal

Breakfast - 10:20am
 - bag of cashews. 160cal

Lunch, 1:15pm
  - Ready Pac Santa Fe Style Salad - 280cal

Dinner, 7pm
 - Quiznos Pick 2: Chicken Bacon Ranch Flatbread (480cal) & Sonoma Turkey Flatbread(440cal)

Total: 1340cal


Wow.  I had no idea those little flatbreads had so many calories.  they LOOKED like a small meal!  Time to peruse Quizno's nutritional info and find something better!

Breakfast - 10:30 am
  - Smoked Ham Sandwich (pre-made at work), minus bread. 250cal for sandwich, 2 slices of white bread - looks like that runs 65cal a slice so, 120cal? might be overestimating bread, but i didn't eat most of the mayo, so we're gonna cal that good

Lunch - 12:30n
  - Ready Pac Chef's Salad - 270cal

Snack - 3:45pm
 - Frigo Cheese Head String Cheese - 80cal

Dinner - 7pm
- 3 turkey wraps (80cal for tortilla, 80 cal for 2oz turkey, trace bell pepper, cucumber, tomato - say 10cal, 1tbsp sour cream - 30cal) -600 cal

Total: 1070cal

CHEAT DAY! no count!

Breakfast - Sweet Tomatoes (I filled up on lots of veggies and limited my carbs and sauces. :)

Lunch -
   Cajun Grill @ Lloyd center.  had corn, chow mein, cajun chicken, lemon chicken.
   Orange Julius Medium Pina Colada Lite Smoothie


Too full for dinner.

Breakfast, 7:45 am
Ready Snax - Veggies & Chesee w/ ranch dip - 140cal

Lunch, 12:45pm
  - Ready Pac Santa Fe Style Salad - 280cal

Snack: 6pm
 - 6 homemade chicken nuggets - uh...200cal?

Dinner: 9pm
- Fuddruckers 1/3lb southwest burger, bunless, bout 6 fries - no idea

Total: Okish...I think?

Breakfast, 7:30am
  - Ready Pac Santa Fe Style Salad - 280cal

Lunch, 1:00pm
  - Ready Pac Santa Fe Style Salad - 280cal

Dinner, 8pm
 - Sausage & Peppers  - bout 820cal

Snack, 9pm
- Small bowl of ice cream, bout 250 cal


Total: 1630ish Cal

Breakfast - Key Lime chobanis, 140cal

Snack - Hot cocoa -  110cal

Lunch - 1 Piece of cheddarwurst, 220cal

Dinner: Salad, 430cal

Snack: salad, 200cal

TOTAL:  1100cal

Breakfast:
 - Toppings off 2 pieces of pizza.  No crust

Dinner:
 - Egg scramble - 430cal

Total: I dunno, but suspect I was in OKish limits

Breakfast, 9:10am
  - Chobani Strawberry Yogurt - 140cal, 0fat, 20carb, 14protein

Lunch, 11:15am
  - Ready Pac Santa Fe Style Salad - 280cal, 20fat 14carb 11protein

Snack, 3:43pm
  - Frigo Cheese Head String Cheese - 80cal, 6fat, 0carb, 6 protein

Dinner, time unknown
 - 2 big pieces of pizza, with EVERYTHING on them & then some extra
 - a pint of Famous Dave's Mac & Cheese

Total: tons.

So...last week, Jason went to see a doctor.  Among other things, he wanted to discuss weight loss.  I went with him.

The doctor suggested gastric bypass - for BOTH of us.  I never really thought of myself as large enough to need it.  The idea of it TERRIFIES me.  Seriously.  Surgery is scary stuff.  And the more I research, the more I get this sinking feeling - like yesterday, I learned that you can't have caffeine for like a month after the surgery - if EVER.  I can feel the coffee in my bloodstream protesting.  Strenuously.

But this is a Big Deal for both of us.  A friend of his died last week.  He was over 700 lbs, diabetic, and just gave up and quit taking care of himself.  He had to be put on live support, but he had a DNR, and they pulled the plug.  He died because he was so large that taking care of himself was more difficult than dying.

Jason doesn't want to be That Guy.  I don't want him to be either.  It scares the bejeesus out of me.  And seeing the tears in his eyes when he mentioned not wanting to be that guy...I knew I'd do whatever it took to make sure this happens.  Including giving up coffee.

I've gotten myself off cigarettes, alcohol, and even narcotic addictions (post surgery I got withdrawl.  yay?).  Coffee is the hardest yet.

*stares at the coffeepot*

It feels like saying goodbye to a close friend.  I'm almost in tears over the idea.  How can someone be that attached to a freaking DRINK?

Anyways.  The doctor says we should picture what our lives will be like after it.  Positive projection and all that, I guess.  I'm having trouble.  I mean, I can picture little things - shopping for clothes in a regular store.  Not having to worry about whether the theater will have seats that fit US.  being able to sit in a booth at a crowded restaurant instead of waiting for a table.  But I can't picture the day to day stuff.  I see us getting off work to go gaming, and I think about dinner on the way and I draw a blank.  I don't know what we eat, or how we manage it.  I think of being busy at a con and needing food and I draw a blank again.  How do you eat for this on the go?  Everyone I know who's gone through it doesn't.  They stay at home and cook.  We don't stay at home!  For that matter, how do I manage staying awake the hours running a con requires without coffee?

We live for our conventions - that's what we do, who we are.  How do we make this work?

I'm baffled, I'll admit it.  And right now it's standing between me and the future.  Jason's all for letting this sit and wait til after PAX, but...I'm eventually going to have to introduce my life to this concept.  I see no point in waiting.  The idea that this is going to ruin our convention doesn't bode well for future adjustments.  I want to make it work.  I have no idea how.